16 Things You Do When Your Roommate Goes Out Of Town
Your roommate’s gone and you have the place all to yourself? Um, time to take off the pants and read this list!
1. You’re somewhat happy once they finally leave.
2. Now you can pretend that you don’t even have a roommate.
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There will be an apocalyptic pile up in the sink, and you won’t care. Just accept it and move on.
4. Talk to yourself
Maybe you just like to own your craziness without the judgmental “are you talking to yourself” eyebrow raise.
5. Walk around with a lack of clothes, or just completely naked.
6. Use their stuff
Mine, all mine!
Until the guilt sets in and you attempt to replace what you took…
7. Excessive day drinking
O.K., this may be something you already do whether your roommate is home or not.
8. Fart anywhere you darn well please.
Now is your chance to indulge, so get creative.
9. Induce a crying fest.
A little self pity goes a long way.
10. Lock it up.
In an effort to calm your paranoia you obsessively check all points of entry to guarantee they are locked and secured.
But that doesn’t save you from being terrified when you hear a suspicious noise.
11. Invite people over for a “get together”.
Get togethers keep the serial killers away when your roommate is not home to be the security blanket. Or, maybe your roommate is an “I hate people” oppressor, and now that they’re gone you can be the social butterfly you truly are.
12. Don’t invite anyone over, EVER.
Soak up the alone time. A good book is all the company you need.
13. Take all the time you want in the bathroom.
No roommate, no one rushing you because they have to meet their friend at Chipotle in 20 min, no worries.
Also, you don’t have to experience the feeling of sheer panic when someone walks in right after you’ve defiled the toilet.
14. Have this reaction when you get that “on my way back” text.
Now the reality that the fun is over begins to set in.
15. You miss them.
If you are lucky enough to enjoy your roommate’s company or have one who body doubles as a friend, you might start to miss them.
Being alone isn’t quite as fun anymore.
16. Attack them as soon as they come home.
No, seriously. You really really missed them, so it gets a little awkward.