23 Fictional Worlds That You Would Totally Like To Visit This Summer (in no particular order)
Screw the Bahamas I’m going to Hogwarts
Despite the fact that it’s either constantly snowing or in the midst of some weird, never ending war, I would go to Narnia any day. Not only do they have a thing for making any human who enters their land instant royalty, but they also have talking animals and most of their human rulers are rather attractive. And British. Perks: I could stay there for 10 years and when I got back home I would have only been gone for like 5 minutes in Earth time.
2. Camp Half-Blood
Screw French Woods and Nike Camp, Camp Half-Blood is the place to be. They have archery, canoeing, sword fighting, awesome food, and the guys are literal GODS. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s free, so that’s a plus. Just don’t get dragged into a quest to save some asshole God. Those tend to get in the way. Perks: You can train your newfound godly powers and hang out with a centaur. I see no downsides to this fabulous camp. Also, capture the flag games are dabomb.com
Even though the outfits are questionable, Asgard seems like a nice to planet to spend your vacation. It’s like a law that all men have to have a ‘god-like’ physique, and I really wouldn’t mind getting my hands on Thor’s hammer. So, even though *spoiler alert* it has been taken over by a crazy bitch known as Loki, Asgard seems like a great planet to visit. Perks: There’s a giant rainbow/bridge/type thing that separates Asgard and Earth so there’s literally no airfare.
This. Freaking. Movie. I can’t even function. It may be because I feel like I have a deep, personal connection with Olaf the Snowman, but I believe the Frozen Kingdom known as Arendelle (the fandoms speculate that it is somewhere in Norway, and Disney sources such as DisneyWiki support that theory) seems like a perfect place to spend your summer holiday. Especially now that Elsa isn’t bat-shit crazy and causing internal winters. Perks: You get a nice mix of summer and winter, thanks to the fact that Elsa can now CONTROL her powers and make it snow while it’s 80 degrees outside. (spoiler: the secret to controlling them was love)
5. Bikini Bottom
If you say that you’ve never fantasized about swimming through the depths of the sea where pineapples grow and Easter Island Heads are perched YOU ARE A LIAR. Bikini Bottom is the greatest underwater town ever conceived, no questions asked. Whether you’re chilling out at Weenie Hut Jr (or Super Weenie Hut Jr if you’re feeling especially cool) or the Krusty Krab, Spongebob’s town will always give you a good time. Especially if you’re visiting during Jellyfish season. Perks: Talking sea creatures. ‘Nuff said. (I recommend rooming in Sandy’s house, cause ya know, air.)
6. The ‘Wonderful’ Land of Oz
Honestly, it really depends on which version of Oz you plan on visiting. If it’s the book version, you’ll get a strange, very sexual, kinky Oz with lots of horny elves. I recommend this Oz for 12 year old boys and 40 year olds who live with their mother and do Cos Play. If it’s the Oz from the musical, you’ll get a lot of political drama and animal rights activists. This version of Oz is for lesbians as well as for Republicans who campaign against happiness. The Oz from the original movie has zero street signs and no public safety officers (Like really? They depend on young girls from Kansas to hunt down evil, green witches), so this Oz is for people who enjoy dying and getting lost. I recommend Tris from Divergent and Gandalf. Don’t go to Oz. Or do, cause it’s probably still better than your hometown. Also, you might meet the Munchkins of Munchkin Land, which is just outside of Oz if you follow the Yellow Brick Road (yeah, I’ve heard that one before). Perks: You can have sex, campaign, and all of your dreams MIGHT come true. Sounds like a Disney movie.
Ah, Panem. Home of death, destruction and the great sport of Children Fighting to the Death. Panem is a world the family can enjoy! Whether you’re seeing the lively styles of the Capitol (remember, green hair is in this year!) or the depressing, hunger stricken districts, there’s always something to do. You can learn how to coal mine in District 12 or fish in District 4. And, if you visit Pre-Katniss Era, you can even watch the Hunger Games! However, if you do visit Post-Katniss Era, I would wait until the rebellion is over before going Panem, due to the extreme number of casualties and beatings. But, you CAN have a fangirl fight over Peeta and Gale which is always a good time. Also, Peeta makes great bread and frosts the cakes at the bakery, so I’m in. (ILoveYouPeetaWaitWhat?) Perks: You can get drunk with Haymitch.
You know the 10 year boy in all of us would die over visiting Naboo, the planet that started it all for the Stars Wars series. First of all, it’s nice. Like visiting the Bahamas plus Hawaii plus Mexico nice. Not only that, but they have everything: beaches, majestic fields of grass, and I don’t know, secret underwater kingdoms. The Little Mermaid is jealous. Naboo is home to Princess Padme, and in extension, pre-Darth Vador Anikan (sorry for those of you who live under a rock and didn’t know that Anikan was Darth Vador). So, even though it’s the birth place of the bane of everyones existence, Jar Jar Binks and his dread species, Naboo is still a great planet to visit. Perks: You just might be able to bring Jar Jar Binks back from the dead and kill him again.
Let’s be honest for a second: Alice in Wonderland (Jim Carrey version and original) is actually the story of young girl who took too much LSD at her 8th grade graduation party. We know this, we accept this, it’s fine. However, this is why Wonderland is the perfect place to visit if you’re a college slut on spring break. It was literally MADE for you. Everything is crazy and nothing hurts. Also, the Cherish Cat is extremely Sassy and if Jim Carrey stays the Mad Hatter you can count me in. Perks: The tea parties in Wonderland put all your pre-school tea parties to shame.
It may be known for its crime but as long as Batman’s in Gotham, I’m there. Especially if your staying with the 1% of Gotham that’s extremely rich and not in the mob (although it seems that most of them are), you can have a pretty great time. I’m thinking exclusive tour of the Bat Cave and Bruce Wayne’s house. Also, I would like to have Alfred follow me around saying things like “Don’t worry, Master Wayne” and giving me inspirational speeches in that insane accent of his. Perks: You can drive the bat-mobil and use the bat signal whenever you have a problem, such as realizing you don’t have enough money for your iced chai at Starbucks. Also, bats.
Springfield, Oregon, home of the Simpsons and ‘America’s Crud Bucket’, is probably a metaphor for why British people think Americans are fat, rude, and stupid (we’re really not, I swear. We’re just chubby, sarcastic, and hilarious). Springfield has been voted The Worlds Fattest Town, as well as being nicknamed the “Armpit of America’s Butt-Crack”, which means it must really suck because that’s not physically possible unless you’re in American Horror Story. So, as far as fictional towns go, it’s not great. It’s loud, polluted, and I swear to God that Clown is a rapist, but lets be honest: if you’re to spend your summer in a middle-American hometown, it might as well be Springfield. Perks: You can chill with Homer, babysit the SpiderPig, and get Maggie a therapist because that baby definitely has a issues.
12. Chicago-Divergent Verse
(SpoilerSpoilerSpoilerSpoiler) Even though it ended up being just a screwed up government experiment that had nothing to do with the actual plot WHATSOEVER (sorry, I have pent up anger due to Veronica Roth and her crappy book endings), I think Chicago of the Divergent Verse would be a great place to spend your summer vacation. You can jump on and off of trains with the Dauntless, pick apples with Amity, and call people names like ‘Pansycake’ and ‘Stiff’ AND NO ONE WILL JUDGE YOU FOR IT. You can also do math with the Erudite, if you want. I mean, I wouldn’t recommend it but whatever floats your boat, man. Perks: Four lives there. I hear he’s a cool guy. And has back tatoos.
Ah Neverland. The magical place that everyone has wanted to visit at some point in their life. And, really, who can blame you? YOU NEVER GROW UP. That has to be the single best deal since ‘nam. No responsibilities, no checking with mom or dad before hanging out with Peter Pan and his clique of Lost Boys, no raising your hand if you have to pee (honestly, WHY? I’m asking to go to the bathroom, not commit a genocide). Neverland would be a great place to go on vacation, even for a week. It’s an island, which just fabulous, and I hear the hotel situation is great. Also, Tinkerbell. Perks: There’s nothing better than dressing up as animals and frolicking through the forest. Nothing.
Dear Lord, Middle-Earth. Did you know that there are TWO wikipedia pages on this land? One for just general knowledge and another for the history? I swear, there is more about Middle-Earth on the internet than there is about America. Priorities. Anyway, taking a trip down (into?) Middle-Earth wouldn’t be a bad way to spend your summer. Odds are, you’ll run into Gandalf (coughDumdbledorecough), streak through the forest yelling “I’M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE” and then have about 20 and a half near death experiences. Who do think has better summer stories to tell? The guy who went to Hawaii or Middle-Earth? I think you know. Perks: You can hold a ring and say ‘precious’ in a creepy voice.
Preach it, Sebastian. The human world is full of awkward people and hipsters, might as well spend your summer in Atlantis. At least they have talking crabs there. In every version of Atlantis, it’s great, whether it’s from The Little Mermaid or Barbie and a Mermaid Tale (don’t ask how I know about that. I’ve also seen the sequel, don’t judge). Living under the sea can’t be bad at all, and all of that swimming is probably a great weight loss technique. Also, ‘My Week as a Mermaid’ would probably make an interesting college essay. Perks: You can casually watching Prince Eric get drunk on his boat from a safe distance, so it’s not completely obvious that you’re stalking him.
Quahog. If you visit, don’t drink the water, because who really knows what goes on there. You’ll die. Probably. Most likely. Quahog is a great place to visit for a weekend, be appalled at the shit going down, and then realize you should appreciate the life you are currently leading. I would go just to interview Stewie on his thoughts about society. Maybe I’ll take a nice stroll with Peter. Who knows? It’s a rather interesting place. Perks: You can punch Meg and not get arrested.
17. Pandora (not the internet radio)
There a couple things you need to do before visiting Pandora: 1. get an intergalactic passport. 2. learn the native language of Na’vi. 3. disguise yourself as a giant blue animal-thing that has a strange resemblance to Tobias from Arrested DevelopmentAlso, while there, you need to learn to channel your inner Pocahontas, because let me tell you, the natives will MURDER you if they find out that you don’t share the same appreciation of the average tree as they do. However, once you accomplish this, Pandora would be a great planet to visit. It’s pretty, the people are blue, and they have cool, dragon-like bird things. Perks: The Na’vi have the greatest weave since Albert Einstein.
18. Planet of the Apes Earth
I gotta say, taking a break from humans and living with apes for a while might not be such a bad idea. They seem to be smarter than us and have a pretty good government up and running, so unless they freak out and cut your brain in half once they realize that you’re an evolved human, you should totally vacation on the future run-by-apes Earth. I would like to take the first rocket ship to the future, please and thank you. Perks: If you can’t have a pet monkey, might as well have a monkey best friend who can give you relationship advice and scream ‘NO’ very loudly whenever you make bad choices.
19. Adventure Time Universe
I’m like 90% sure the creators of this world were high on acid while developing it. Basically, the Adventure Time universe (post apocalyptic Earth) is a giant mess of talking animals, princesses of weird lands that incorporate candy and flames into their government system, and trees that have completely functional personalities. The Adventure Time world would be an interesting place to visit, no argument there. You’ll probably come face to face with death a couple of times, but in the end it would be worth it. As long as you meet up with Finn and Jake. Perks: Tree Trunks’ apple pie, anyone?
20. The Walking Dead Universe
(So many apocalyptic worlds, so little time!) I hear Post-Apocalyptic America is nice in the summer. Especially when it’s been over-run by flesh-eating zombies (flesh-eating zombies are the best kind of zombies). While visiting The Walking Dead Universe, you will find yourself in Georgia, holding some type of weapon (most likely a gun, or a bow and arrow if you think you’re Darryl enough), with a tour guide who will narrate and describe the scenery like so: “Over here you will find the jail cell Rick’s group visited, it is now inhabited by zombies. This is Hershel’s Farm. It has also been taken over by zombies. To your left you can see a zombie. You can have the honor of shooting it in the head.” Perks: Before you leave, you will receive an exact replica of Carl’s hat.
I mean, it kind of exploded (oops) but before that, Krypton would have been a great summer vacation spot. Everyone who lives there is a superhuman and supergoodlooking so maybe if you spend enough time there, those traits will transfer to you. Plus, they have the technology to shoot their babies to Earth, so maybe they have the power to stop my iPhone from running out of battery after 5 Taylor Swift songs and one instagram post. Perks: Their outfits though. Like seriously, can I start a trend?
So here’s the thing: I see Westeros as a screwed up Narnia. It’s constantly snowing, the Kingdoms do more fighting than the wives on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and there are a bunch bratty teenagers running the screwed up monarchy. All the more reason to go! There are a lot of lands within Westeros to visit. If you like snow, I would go with The Land of Always Winter (no ones ever really been there, and you might die, but it’s fine, really), and if you enjoy war, death, and graphic, Red Weddings I would totally visit all of the Seven Kingdoms at least once. There’s way too much to do, and it’s all so, so confusing, if you visit Westeros you can’t just go for a summer. Try a year. Or two. And make sure you meet everyone before George R. R Martin kills them all off. Perks: You could have killed Joffery, but someone did that already for you. Now all that’s left to do have a drink with Tyrion and laugh about life.
23. Harry Potter Universe
Please, don’t even get me started on this freaking world. When I talk about going to Harry Potter World for the summer, I’m not talking about the one in Florida. Oh no, I mean the real thing. With actual magic and actual Voldemort. Between Diagon Alley and the Quidditch World Cup, I would rather spend my summer frolicking through the Forbidden Forest than tanning in Hawaii any day. If Hogwarts had summer school, I would be there in a heart beat. JUST SEND ME MY FREAKING LETTER (I swear, I’m witch. My owl just got lost). There is literally no downside in going to the Harry Potter Universe. They have Chocolate Frogs, pictures that have conversations with you (or just yell at you), flying broomsticks, and MAGIC. SO MUCH MAGIC. Screw math with my muggle of a teacher, I would rather have potions with Snape (RIP). Hopefully, being a wizard/witch is contagious because if I go, I expect to come back and have my letter waiting for me at my doorstep. I AM NOT A MUGGLE DAMMIT. Perks: OhMyMerlin so many. You can stalk the Golden Trio, go to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, and even drink Butter Beer. (Finally! Stop leading me on with this shit, Rowling! I want to be sorted already! At this point I would ok with being a Huffflepuff.) But mostly, just stalk the Golden Trio (plus Neville, Luna, and Ginny, of course).