A Definitive Ranking Of The Best “Mean Girls” Quotes
Don’t even THINK of sitting with us.
As any true cinephile knows, the 2004 seminal classic Mean Girls is scientifically proven to be the most quotable movie of all time. But the question remains: What are the BEST quotes from Mean Girls?
To answer this question, BuzzFeed employed a highly scientific equation — hereafter referred to as the “Fetch Factor” — in ranking quotes from Mean Girls. As such, these rankings should be considered binding and final — like the Burn Book.
71. “On Oct. 3, he asked me what day it is.” [out loud]: “It’s Oct. 3.”
Paramount Pictures / Via cmcajigas.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: The least fetch, because, like, everyone and their mother cannot wait until Oct. 3 every year so they can post this quote on Facebook.
70. “Everyone in Africa can read Swedish.”
Paramount Pictures / Via lamortbambie.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Minimal fetch points, but only because Regina buys this grade-A bullshit.
69. “Regina George is flawless.”
Paramount Pictures / Via forever-flaccid.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Not that fetch. Only Beyoncé is truly ***FLAWLESS.
68. “This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. Does that mean anything to you.”
Paramount Pictures / Via pophangover.com
Fetch Factor: Some fetch points, but only because Cady’s mom (does anyone know her real name?) pulls off this line with such sincerity. She deserved an award nomination.
67. “There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”
Paramount Pictures / Via novafm.com.au
Fetch Factor: Sort of fetch. Randomly, Mean Girls has a lot of deep quotes and this is the first on the list.
66. “And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.”
Paramount Pictures / Via cheezburger.com
Fetch Factor: Not that fetch. But hey, at least we get to laugh at homeschooled kids!
65. “Don’t have sex, ‘cause you will get pregnant…and die.”
Paramount Pictures / Via suckonmyonix.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Moderately low in its fetchness, because has anyone here REALLY died from sex? I know I haven’t.
64. “Made out with a hot dog? Oh my god, that was one time!”
Paramount Pictures / Via canyoufillthesilence.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Low, low fetch. I mean, how do you make out with a hot dog? (Spoiler alert: She didn’t make out with a hot dog.)
63. “Did you see a nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple.”
Paramount Pictures / Via quickmeme.com
Fetch Factor: EWWW gross, not that fetch. High school boys are the worst, am I right?
62. “Now I guess she’s on crack.”
Paramount Pictures / Via meangirlsofpanem.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Eh, not really that fetch. But excellent use of the word “crack.” Crackity crack crack.
61. “I have this theory that if you cut off all her hair she’d look like a British man.”
Paramount Pictures / Via suicideblonde.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Not that fetch. Sounds kind of forced, when you think about it — and at this point, Cady has descended into Plastic hell.
60. “How many of you have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?”
Paramount Pictures / Via againbeholdthestars.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Fetch-ish. Admit it, you just raised your hand now. I know I did.
59. “I hear her hair’s insured for $10,000.”
Paramount Pictures / Via multitudeofgifs.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Of all the rumors about Regina, this is the weakest. I mean, we all have a friend whose hair is insured for $10,000, right? RIGHT???
58. Gretchen: “My hairline is so weird.” Regina: “My pores are huge.” Karen: “My nail beds suck.” Cady: “I have really bad breath in the morning.”
Paramount Pictures / Via mtv.com
Fetch Factor: Sort of fetch? I mean, does it piss anyone else off that the worst thing Karen could complain about were her nail beds? Like, ~ whatever ~ gurl, you can put your whole fist in your mouth.
57. “It’s like I have ESPN or something.”
Paramount Pictures / Via thegloss.com
Fetch Factor: Pretty fetch. Before Mean Girls ESPN was just a regional sports network that showed Ping-Pong. Then, this movie put the channel on the map — and the rest is history. Stuart Scott, you can thank Karen Smith for your career.
56. Damian: “Say ‘crack’ again.” Janis: “Crack.”
Paramount Pictures / Via salesonfilm.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Moderately fetch. I mean, crack IS a pretty awesome word that we should all be using more in our daily vocab.
55. “Is your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?”
Paramount Pictures / Via jacquelinetiongson.wordpress.com
Fetch Factor: Minimal fetchness, because EW EW EW he is so sleazy and now we can never enjoy a muffin the same way again.
54. “Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know. Oh god, love you.”
Paramount Pictures / Via neontommy.com
Fetch Factor: Slightly fetch, but also weird because the lady from “Weekend Update” is about to see the guy from Homeland screw her daughter who is also the girl from The Notebook.
53. “I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”
Paramount Pictures / Via s1.zetaboards.com
Fetch Factor: Actually, pretty fetch despite the fact she DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE. And also, that rainbows and smiles cake would taste like SHIT.
52. “She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.”
Paramount Pictures / Via multitudeofgifs.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Not really that fetch. I mean, if John Stamos tells you that you’re pretty, who gives a crap about your damn Lexus?
51. “I really wanna lose three pounds.”
Paramount Pictures / Via elitedaily.com
Fetch Factor: Not really THAT fetch. I mean, Reg, you’re not alone in your struggle. NOW PUT DOWN THE CRANBERRY JUICE COCKTAIL.
50. “I, like, invented her, you know what I mean?”
Paramount Pictures / Via mean-girls-quotes.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Sly in its fetchness. I mean, you feel sort of sorry for Regina at this point, until you realize she has a smokin’ hot boyfriend, drives a silver Lexus, and is also a raging bitch.
49. “She’s a life ruiner. She ruins people’s lives.”
Fetch Factor: I mean, it’s fetch. Not exactly the most descriptive way to analyze Regina, but it gets the job done.
48. “There’s a 30% chance that it’s already raining.”
Paramount Pictures / Via hercampus.com
Fetch Factor: 30% fetch. Although yeah, we all kind of wish our boobs could act like Al Roker and tell the weather, right?
47. “I’m a mouse, duh!”
Paramount Pictures / Via heeyysarah.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Moderately fetch. I mean, she is a mouse. DUH.
46. “She’s a scum-sucking road whore. She ruined my life!”
Paramount Pictures / Via miicheleweinberger.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Right-on fetch. Janice Ian serves some angsty teen realness throughout the movie, and this is a prime example. Also, this is an insult we all should use more often. Go on, call the next person you see a “scum-sucking road whore.”
45. “These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.”
Paramount Pictures / Via runningoffthereeses.com
Fetch Factor: Stretched to the fetchness. Although we all learned a valuable lesson: If you don’t speak Swedish, you’ll accidentally eat protein bars that will make you gain weight like crazy.
44. “I guess it’s probably because I’ve got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that.”
Paramount Pictures / Via iswearillmakethislast.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Fairly fetch. Janice serves up some ~ raw ~ and ~ real ~ words, so snaps for that.
43. “On Wednesdays, we wear pink.”
Paramount Pictures / Via alwaysyouh.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Pretty fetch, but it gets knocked down the list because this is one of those quotes everyone remembers and WILL NEVER LET DIE.
42. “Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!”
Paramount Pictures / Via eonline.com
Fetch Factor: Not that fetch. Everyone thinks this quote is SO funny, but, like, does anyone even know what it means? Nope.
41. “Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang.”
Paramount Pictures / Via sugarscape.com
Fetch Factor: Pretty fetch, because it’s inspirational and shit. KEVIN G FTW.
40. “Oh my god, Danny DeVito! I love your work!”
Paramount Pictures / Via mebeydian.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Definitely fetch, because it introduced a whole new generation of moviegoers to Danny DeVito.
39. “I don’t think that my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.”
Paramount Pictures / Via s1322.photobucket.com
Fetch Factor: Toasty fetch. Also, Gretchen has a point. Except how did we not see ANYONE consume a Toaster Strudel in Mean Girls? I bet her father wouldn’t be too pleased about that either.
38. “Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?”
Paramount Pictures / Via theotherjuliette.blogspot.com
Fetch Factor: Sort of fetch, because Taco Bell. DUH.
37. “In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.”
Paramount Pictures / Via i-know-he-knows.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Like, SO fetch. If anything, this quote hits the nail a little TOO on the head.
36. Cady: “Is there alcohol in this?” Mrs. George: “Oh god, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you’re gonna drink I’d rather you did it in the house.”
Paramount Pictures / Via survivingcollege.com
Fetch Factor: Def fetch. Mrs. George has, like, five lines in this movie, and they are all so ~ quotable ~.
35. “We only carry sizes one, three, and five. You could try Sears.”
Paramount Pictures / Via carvanc.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Pretty fetch, considering the queen bee just got burned by a saleslady.
34. “Your hair looks so sexy pushed back.”
Paramount Pictures / Via entertainmentwise.com
Fetch Factor: Sexy fetch. I mean, his hair DOES look sexy pushed back, right? God bless Aaron Samuels.
33. “I don’t hate you because you’re fat. You’re fat because I hate you.”
Paramount Pictures / Via yeahimfromtoledo.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Muy fetch, because truer words have never been spoken.
32. “If you’re from Africa, why are you white?”
Paramount Pictures / Via pureherxin.tumblr.com
Fetch Factor: Definitely fetch, but not THAT fetch. It may not even be in the top five weird things Karen says.
31. “One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.”
Paramount Pictures / Via glee.wikia.com
Fetch Factor: Hella fetch. Not only does she have a wide-set vagina, but Regina punched her in the face. Some girls have all the luck.