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Community Post: 10 Funniest Smiths Lyrics

1. “The Queen Is Dead”


And so I checked all the registered historical facts
And I was shocked and ashamed to discover
How I’m the 18th pale descendant
Of some old queen or other

So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said : “Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing”
I said : “That’s nothing – you should hear me play piano”

Take that, monarchy.

2. “Handsome Devil”


Let me get my hands
On your mammary glands

3. “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others”


As Anthony said to Cleopatra
As he opened a crate of ale:

Oh, I say:
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl’s mothers are bigger than
Other girl’s mothers

4. “Ask”


Spending warm summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg

5. “Sheila Take A Bow”


Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear

10 Funniest Smiths Lyrics

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6. “Nowhere Fast”


I’d like to drop my trousers to the Queen
Every sensible child will know what this means

Him and the Queen…

7. “Half A Person”


Then I’ll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I,
I booked myself in at the Y … W.C.A.
I said : “I like it here – can I stay ?
I like it here – can I stay ?
Do you have a vacancy
For a back scrubber?”

8. “Shakespeare’s Sister”


I thought that if you had
An acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were
A protest singer

9. “William, It Was Really Nothing”


How can you stay with a fat girl who’ll say
“Oh, would you like to marry me,
And if you like you can buy the ring?”
She doesn’t care about anything…

10. “Still Ill”


I decree today that life
Is simply taking and not giving
England is mine – it owes me a living
But ask me why, and I’ll spit in your eye

Hysterical, indeed.

Did we miss any? Share them with us in the comments!

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