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Community Post: Absurd Tweets Illustrated

1. “Someone should make a dog chew in the shape of a pipe so when they are carrying it around they look like dapper gents.”

Matt Saunders (@rabbitportal) via Twitter

2. “Friend just alerted me to the fact that an ampersand looks like a guy dragging his butt across the floor & I will NEVER be able to unsee it.”

Logan Alexander (@loganalexander) via Twitter

3. “Don’t know a ton about evolution but pretty sure that between eagles and bald eagles we had combover eagles.”

Byron Daniels (@hoteats) via Twitter

4. “I always carry a knife, not for protection but in the event I encounter pie.”

Bryan A. Davis (@thebryandavis) via Twitter

5. “You’ve officially reached crazy cat lady status when you have a pawprint sticker that says ‘who rescued who?’ on your car.”

Jessica Grant (@Copy_chic) via Twitter

6. “How many dates should you wait before you show a girl all your Princess Diana stuff?”

Joe Wengert (@joewengert) via Twitter retweeted by @rockinanna

7. “I use Command Z (undo) so much that I subconsciously want to use it in real life situations. That would be so ninja.”

Adam Senatori (@adamsenatori via Twitter)

8. “Oh no! What if cats are the hipsters of the animal kingdom?”

KDN (@kdn13) via Twitter

9. “Every time we have challah in the house I have to shout Ha! Luh! as if I were hosting Yo! MTV Raps.”

Amy Kundrat (@modernamy) via Twitter

10. “Saved a ladybug’s life this morning. What the fuck have you done today?”

Adam R. Garcia (@adamrgarcia) via Twitter

11. “Sometimes you just need to let the wookie win.”

Dan Cassaro (@YoungJerks) via Twitter (and Han Solo via Star Wars)

12. “Gary Busey speaks in Wingdings font.”

Damien Fahey (@DamienFahey) via Twitter

13. “Guess my last real date was back in ‘93 when I ate a dozen cupcakes & danced to ‘I’m Every Woman’ on repeat with my cat until we both puked.”

@Bez via Twitter

14. “Wondering if planting all the seeds that collect at the bottom of everything bagel bags will yield some kind of delicious plant.”

Hiller Goodspeed (@hillergoodspeed) via Twitter

15. “What are you gonna do with all these pixels?”

Josh Silverman (@joschwa) via Twitter

16. “I will not correct my daughter when she calls nachos ‘machos’.”

Sara Jensen (@sarajensen) via Twitter

17. “Is it still technically a ‘walk of shame’ if I rollerbladed?”

Julieanne Smolinksi (@BoobsRadley) via Twitter

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