Hotel illustrates absurd guest comments with bizarrely amusing, artsy photographs (12 pics)

Every year The Standard, a swanky boutique hotel chain with locations in L.A., NYC, and Miami, puts out a calendar featuring staff members from their properties. The 2014 edition offers artsy photographic interpretations of some of the more bizarre guest comments they received during the year.

They write…

We’re always striving to better ourselves as a company, and guest feedback is crucial to our self improvement. As it turns out, guest feedback can also be pretty entertaining, irreverent, inspiring, and sometimes just off-the-wall.

Here are the fun results…

January

Dear Standard, Your staff are the nicest pooch-lovers in the whole world. Penny, my precious little wiener, is on a special diet and must be fed at specific times so she can take her pills. Your room service staff was sweet enough to prepare it each day, executed to the last detail and delivered right on time. Penny is extremely appreciative and is looking forward to her next stay.

5173966586437_OpCX2vtD_l

February

Your tip jar saved my life! I was trying to buy drinks for my co-workers in from Sweden when my credit card went on the fritz. I was $20 bucks short in cash and was about to die of embarrassment when the server discretely called me to the bar and spotted me the difference from the tip jar. The next day I got my card working and slipped them a $100 tip for saving my broke ass…Forever grateful.

money_coins_480

March

I am writing you to share a recent experience I had in your hot tub. I carefully entered into the water, placing my glasses near the edge. The water was searingly hot and after a very brief time (I would say no more than 3-4 minutes) I placed the frames back on my face only to discover that the prescription had literally melted off the lenses. I tried to wash them to get them clear. This didn’t work, they are permanently damaged. I have been in hot tubs all over the world, including natural ones in Reykjavik and this has never happened. Unacceptable. I would like to be compensated. They are the European Silhouette brand, made of titanium, and have ultra-thin, anti-reflective corrective lenses. The price of the lens (without the frames) is about $150. Thank you in advance.

skeleton_hot_tub

April

Thank you for providing a refuge to recover from the harsh world of Los Angeles and its dog-eat-dog media business. Your support for the arts is apparent in the wonderful environment you have created here. Thank you for rehabilitating me from: hostile takeover of my business, subsequent lawsuit, divorce, collapse of my ego. I have been reborn a better man.

jesus_wet_4801

May

My girlfriend and I spent lots of money at the bar and on room service. Any compensation would be greatly appreciated.

giant_bill_480

June

“I lost my kush. Where’s my kush?”

where_is_my_kush_480

July

I’m a music journalist and frequent guest of The Standard. I had just given an unflattering review to a volatile pop star’s latest album and heard through the grapevine he was staying at the hotel and I was certain he was going to exact some kind of revenge. To be honest, I completely freaked out. After many anxious phone calls with the front desk, one of your staff kindly offered to stay up with me until I calmed down. She literally sat in my room and read to me until I passed out. These people deserve a bonus, a trophy, a weekend in the Bahamas. Thanks my friends.

hug_bed_480

August

Stayed here a few years ago and it is still beautiful! The only thing I recommend is…the TV is possessed. No matter which button you push: vol, channel up, etc, it just channels down—malfunction. Love from Vegas.

possesed_tv_4801

September

Quality of toilet paper could be better…3-ply minimum…otherwise it was a great room and enjoyable stay. Thank you…

toilet_paper_boy_480

October

Dear Standard, I LOVE YOU. Every time my best friend comes to town, we get a room here and live it up BALLER STYLE. We love the rooftop bar, and the nudie shower, and the weirdo art films. We’d like to thank you so much for the surprise upgrade from LARGE room to HUGE. We love it and had such a great time. We also very much appreciated the bouncer who let our two friends up to the rooftop bar sans cover. That MADE OUR NIGHT. Our friend got a dude’s number and made out with him. BEST…STAY…EVER!

licking_beer_480

November

Hey Standard, Thanks plenty for the most epic hangover of my life. And thanks even more for hydrating me the next day.

corridor_cup_480

December

Dear Standard Staff, You were the most hospitable bunch of people I’ve ever stayed with in a while. Thank you so much for making my time here in LA so nice. PS: Btw, someone installed the sign in your hotel upside down.

upside_down_480

(via Feature ShootCN Traveler)

Read more: http://twentytwowords.com/hotel-illustrates-absurd-guest-comments-with-bizarrely-amusing-artsy-photographs-12-pics/

Comments

comments

Comments are closed.