The 16 Stages Of Realizing It’s Time To Pay Back Your Student Loans, As Explained By Nicki Minaj
“Explained,” in the sense that Nicki Minaj gifs tend to explain everything.
1. You have been out of college for about six months and, not gonna lie, you’re feeling pretty damn good about yourself.
As you should. College is a rough four years. It’s certainly an accomplishment
2. Of course, you have been emailed on numerous occasions during this period of six months reminding you that the time to pay those loans is right around the corner.
3. But you’re “busy” and these somehow slip under the radar.
Who has time to read emails when I’m expected at happy hour? I need to spend my glorious $12.50 an hour somehow!
4. You finally read the email with the subject, “URGENT,” and realize the time has come. The first payment is due in three weeks.
You are caught off guard. But before reacting in any rash way, you decided to look at how much you owe. Maybe it’s not so bad…
5. It’s bad.
6. You take a moment. Let it settle in.
Deep down you know the range of emotions you are about to feel as you gaze at that six-figure number will be nothing short of terrifying.
7. You cry.
Just cry. Higher education in America is effed up so you cry all you want.
8. Of course, this does not last as long as expected. You retreat into a much darker place.
“I think this is funny. But I want to kick a kitten so perhaps not.”
9. “Oh God, please make these feels stop!!!!!!!!!”
Your brain hurts. You want to start crying again because that was easier than whatever the hell you’re putting yourself through now.
10. As you are on your emotional rampage you start seeing things.
Oh man. I need to sit. I need water. I need an antidepressant.
11. Things proceed to get a little worse.
You yell at your mother over the phone because she let you take out all those loans. So many loans.
12. You suddenly calm down.
Mostly because you made your mom cry.
13. Maybe you do a little cardio to clear your head.
Zumba normally does the trick. Or whatever Nicki and Ciara are doing here.
14. You even treat yourself to a day of R&R by the pool. You (and everyone within a twenty mile radius) just went through a lot.
15. You realize you’ll be fine. You’re back to your old self!
Well, nearly. Happy hour is kind of a bust now that you have another bill to pay.
16. Aside from the occasional bout of hallucinations, your student loans don’t give you much more heartache. They are just another part of life and you deal with it!
Everyone survives. It may not seem like it but its true.