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The 25 Grossest Jobs You Could Have

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If you think your jobs is bad, think again. Unless it involves wading through human excrement, farming maggots, or peeling roadkill of the nation’s highways then you’ve got it pretty good because these are the 25 grossest jobs you could have. And if you can think of anything grosser just leave a comment below!

25. Maggot Farmer Imagine having a job that smells so bad you need to take three showers a day just to not scare away the neighbors. It sounds terrible but raising maggots to sell as fishing bait or for agricultural purposes is an extremely lucrative profession.

24. Forensic Entomologist By studying the development of maggots and other insects on dead bodies, these investigative professionals can tell things such as how long a body has been dead. It’s an important job but also a dirty one as most of your day is spent not just among dead people, but rotting, smelly dead people.

23. Chicken Sexer To a farmer, knowing the sex of his or her chickens early on in life is necessary in order to determine the proper nourishment track (raise for meat, laying eggs, etc). The only way to do this at an early stage of development, however, is to literally squeeze the crap out of the chick, opening its anal vent, and allowing the sexer to see if it has a small bump indicating that it is male.

22. Esthetician

If your idea of having a good time includes removing puss from peoples faces as they get a facial then this may be the job for you.

21. Chimney Sweep

Although the profession isn’t as dangerous as it used to be and chimney sweeps no longer employ little boys to climb up narrow chimneys for them, this job is still one of the dirtiest around.

20. Slaughterhouse Worker Its not just that your job involves killing things, but it also involves disemboweling them and separating the pieces. In fact, they said it would be enough to make some people go vegetarian, and evidently quite often it does.

19. Restaurant Dishwasher If you think cleaning up after your kids at home is a mess, imagine cleaning up after hundreds of strangers day in and day out.

18. Fart Statistician

Did you know that on average you fart 13.6 times a day? Neither did we. But thanks to these fart counting number crunchers we have access to knowledge such as this.

17. Whale Snot Collector This job is so gross that the scientists who do this dirty work actually invented a remote controlled helicopter to harvest the whale boogers for them. We know you’re wondering – why anyone would want whale boogers on their desk? Well, because they’re busy researching disease patterns in these oversized mammals.

16. Proctologist

Imagine if your entire professional life revolved around fixing peoples anal problems. That’s right. You would be a butt doctor and it shouldn’t come as a surprise that your job is on this list.

15. Guano Collector Guano, also known as bat poop (and sometimes bird poop), is a very effective fertilizer and even considered a delicacy in some locales. Because its usually found in caves it can take some special skills to harvest it properly, which is why we leave this job to the professional bat poop collectors.

14. Portable Toilet Cleaner

Armed with little more than a vacuum these brave souls venture forth into places most of society avoids. And although cleaning a port-o-potty may not be the most glorious job in the world, it’ll earn you at least $50,000 a year.

13. Poop Stirrer

Before scientists can do their DNA research someone needs to prepare their specimens, or to be more specific, collect the fecal matter. Not only this but it also has to be shaken up to form a special “solution” which is exactly where their poop stirring assistants come in.

12. Roadkill Remover

Scrape, scrape, scrape. That’s what your job sounds like as a professional roadkill remover. And while we’d venture to say there are less disgusting jobs out there, someone’s got to do it.

11. Armpit Sniffer How do deodorant companies know whether or not their products are working? By employing armpit sniffers, that’s how.

10. Embalmer

Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t be clean which is exactly why we have embalmers in the world. They scrub the body, disinfect it, and then inject it with the right chemicals to preserve it before the burial. And oh yea, they also have to make sure the people are really dead. Not a job for the faint of heart.

9. Corpse Grinder

Every once in a while scientists need to dig up a body in order to extract DNA for the purposes of a criminal investigation. To get the DNA, however, the tissues need to be ground up, and that is exactly what our friend the corpse grinder does.

8. Emergency Medical Providers

Of course to some people blood and guts won’t ruin lunch any more than a bad joke, but to others spending even 5 minutes in the emergency room or the back of an ambulance would be enough to induce nightmares.

7. Bacteria Chaser

As awesome as this job sounds its can be extremely hard on the senses. You see bacteria don’t generally live in the most sanitary of conditions which means these scientists often find themselves in damp, hot, and extremely smelly locations.

6. Parent

You get pooped on, barfed on, peed on and spat on yet somehow through it all you manage to love the source of all that muck and mire. Mad respect to all the mothers and fathers out there.

5. Vomit Collector As fun as roller coaster rides can be, every once in a while your stomach may disagree with you, which is why some amusement parks have these specialized janitors on hand.

4. Lift Pump Remover

Every time you flush a toilet the waste is sent off to the treatment plant for processing. Upon arrival at the plant, the first thing that happens to the waste is it enters the 5 story high lift pump chamber. The problem however, is that sometimes the pump breaks. At this point a person wearing a full body suit along with SCUBA gear has to swim through the mess of excrement and tie a rope to the pump so that it can be pulled out and replaced.

3. Crime Scene Cleaning Crew

Although the detectives get all the glory, someone has to clean up the mess, and these are the guys that make it happen. Cleaning everything from blood and hair to skin and teeth its not hard to see why their job is on this list.

2. Sewage Cleaner

Among the rats, human excrement, and rotting trash beneath our city streets you will find those steel nosed warriors we commonly refer to as sewage cleaners. Be grateful for them…every time you flush the toilet.

1. Hazmat Diver This job is so disgustingly dangerous that divers often need to be vaccinated against a slew of diseases because many times they find themselves searching for dead bodies or diving through septic tanks.

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