These 15 Video Games For Gen-Y Would Make The World A Better Place
Let’s face it: Without video games, the world would be nothing. And I’m not just talking about the high-resolution video games we have access to today. No, the video games of the past certainly helped shape most of our childhoods.
Nintendo 64, Game Boy Advance, the very first Xbox that looked very similar to a prehistoric VCR — all of these consoles are the sole reason we’re able to enjoy even the most irritable voices through our Xbox Live headsets while playing “Call of Duty.”
However, there are plenty of other things we could be using this technology for.
I mean, whoever thought it would’ve been a better idea to continue letting EA Sports make NBA games than to create a video game for gamers to become Jay Z and Beyoncé as you look to take over the world definitely isn’t thinking clearly enough.
Below are the 15 video games that would complete the world if they actually existed!
“The Last of Us: On the Run”
Objective: Stay alive and make it home to Blue Ivy Carter, who’s being held hostage by North West in a Brooklyn basement.
Explore over 20 different neighborhoods as you play a lengthy game of survival on the mean, post-apocalyptic streets of New York City. Your only character options are between Beyoncé and Jay Z.
Choose one half of Bonnie and Clyde to endure all of the gun battles, fist fights and action-packed moments thrown your way.
“LEGO Cat-Caller Beat Down”
Objective: Beat the sh*t out of any cat-caller you encounter.
Catcalling has to stop, there’s no doubt about it. However, it’s only going to stop when the construction workers of the world realize that women are women, not cats.
In this LEGO video game, you’ll be responsible for hunting down cat-callers in first-person as you use your superpowers as Wonder Woman to put construction workers in the ditch they’ve dug.
“WWE 2K15: World Star Hip-Hop Rapper Fights Edition”
Objective: Settle your ongoing feuds as one of the industry’s most prominent rappers.
We wouldn’t have to speculate who would win in a wrestling match between Chris Brown and Drake if World Star Hip Hop teamed up with WWE to create the best WWE video game of all time.
Def Jam Vendetta was cool and all… but you’ll have a better time customizing your grand entrances for your favorite rapper as they stroll down the ramp to settle the score against their rivals.
Unlockable characters include boxer Floyd Mayweather, self-proclaimed “rapper” Iggy Azalea and, of course, 2Pac.
“Starbucks’ Busy Barista Challenge”
Objective: Experience the constant, daily headache of being a Starbucks barista.
If you’ve ever played one of those burger shop games on your iPad where you’re required to put together a batch of orders for your overly eager, highly impatient customers, “Starbucks’ Busy Barista Challenge” should ring a bell.
Throughout the 10-level game, you’ll encounter a number of scenarios, including an interaction with the bitchy PR girl who insists that she ordered four Pumpkin Spice Lattes instead of three.
Mini games include cleaning the bathroom, purposely spelling customer’s names wrong and, of course, restocking the cup sleeves!
“Dance Dance Revolution: You Are NOT the Father Edition”
Objective: When Maury Povich tells you you’re not the father of your one-night stand’s child, dance your ass off and rack up major points for combo moves.
The dances that have been done on Maury over the years have been some of the best dances to ever grace your TV screen, so there’s no doubt that Dance Dance Revolution should team up with Maury to create a dance pad-controlled game allowing you to show off your moves.
The key to the game is to act like you’ve actually been told, “You are NOT the father.”
“Find My iPhone: The Game”
Objective: Find your nude photo-filled, sext message-infested iPhone before someone else does.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all left our phones behind in a cab that we traveled a total of three blocks in just to avoid a single drop of rain.
In this puzzle-like game, you’ll have to search the city in hopes of finding the iPhone you lost when you were drunk. The game starts out with you staring into your MacBook computer screen trying to figure out why the precise location that the Find My iPhone app is giving you is so inaccurate.
Then you’ll be asked to make your way to the area and begin searching all of the nearby streets, stores and even peoples’ apartments until you find your iPhone.
“Grand Theft Auto: Super Smash Bros.”
Objective: Do the same exact thing you do in GTA — except now you get to do it as either Luigi or Mario.
Everyone loves Grand Theft Auto and everyone loves Nintendo’s Super Smash Bros.
Complete missions throughout the mean streets of Los Santos as you run around with your fictional parter in crime. Instead of selling drugs, you can deal mushrooms and yellow stars.
Instead of driving Landstalkers and Banshees, you’ll be asked to transport through the city using your kart from Mario Kart. Is there anything better than being able to bridge the gap between your childhood and the present?!
“Angry Kanye: Attack of the Paparazzi”
Objective: Fight off the parasitic paparazzi without getting in trouble with the law.
Being Kanye ain’t easy and that’s something we can all agree on. We can also agree that Angry Birds is a little played out at this point in time.
In this cartoon fighting game, you’re able to become Kanye West himself. All you have to do to beat the game is hop out of your matte black Lamborghini Aventador and attack the paparazzi that’ve followed you around Beverly Hills without getting arrested.
Use your gamer points to purchase new designer outfits for Kanye in the marketplace.
“Kardashian Kurse: The Race to Save Your Career”
Objective: Maintain your career as a prominent athlete or rapper while simultaneously maintaining your relationship with a Kardashian sister.
This game is the definition of easier said than done; however, if you like the Sims, you’ll love it.
Your character options include athletes Reggie Bush and Kris Humphries as well as musicians Kanye West and Ray J. You’ll have to maintain your reputation and your career while making sure that your relationship with one of the three Kardashians is secure.
If you make it to the last level, you’ll be able to become Kim Kardashian herself, which puts you in the position to ruin others careers.
“NBA 2K15: LeBron’s Barber Edition”
Objective: Get LeBron ready for his ESPN interview without messing up his hairline.
Everyone loves LeBron, but we all know he doesn’t have the best hairline in sports. In this hair-cutting simulator, you’ll be able to become LeBron’s barber in his hometown of Akron, Ohio.
All you have to do is make sure you give LeBron the best haircut possible without making him look like an old man. The game is also compatible with the Oculus Rift virtual reality headset.
Objective: Define what a really good selfie looks like.
The skill is in your hands with this one. Guitar Hero was cool. DJ Hero was pretty awesome, too. But it’s time to take a step into present day. That’s why this Selfie Hero game is exactly what we’re in need of.
Your smartphone will hook up directly to your gaming console. After that, all you have to do is rack up likes on your virtual Instagram account by taking the best selfies possible. Get creative!
Although this title will probably resonate best with the female population of Instagram, we’re sure guys will purchase it as their ultimate guilty pleasure. You know, because everyone’s taken a selfie at some point or another.
“Sims Free-Play: Basic B*tch Edition”
Objective: Effectively live the life of a “basic b*tch” without ever being referred to as “basic.”
If you’re good at living a normal life, you’ll probably be really good at this game. In the “Sims Free-Play: Basic Bitch Edition,” you’ll have to lead the life of an incredibly basic young woman.
Your primary challenge will be staying within the lines of basic and never doing anything too bougie.
“UBER: The Ultimate Driving Experience”
Objective: Transport pissed off customers to and from their destinations without freaking out on them.
Being a personal driver is a lot harder than it looks. That’s why there should be an entire driving game dedicated to the fearless Uber drivers of the world who’ve chosen such a physically demanding career path.
If you’ve ever played the taxi driver mini game in Grand Theft Auto, this is just like that. Except you can only drive around an black Escalade and you have to try to transport rude customers to their destinations in unrealistic amounts of time during rush hour.
“Watch Dogs: Hacking iCloud”
Objective: Hack into celebrities’ iCloud accounts and leak their sensitive data to the world before the FBI gets you.
Watch Dogs is a great game, but you know what would be even cooler? “Watch Dogs: Hacking iCloud.” I mean, it’s just so relevant right now.
You’ll be forced to live in the mad world of the future and the only way to preserve your sanity is to cause chaos within other people’s lives by hacking into their iCloud accounts.
As a hacker, you’ll have to work your way up to Internet fame by hacking the iCloud accounts of some of the world’s biggest celebrities. The more globally recognized the celebrity is, the harder it is to crack the code to their private photos, emails and text message conversations!
“The Wolf of Wall Street: The Video Game”
Objective: Live the life of Jordan Belfort in “The Wolf of Wall Street” without getting caught.
If you saw “The Wolf of Wall Street,” you probably wished for two things: First, that you could live Belfort’s lifestyle and secondly, that someone turned the movie into a Grand Theft Auto-style video game. Now, you can have both.
There’s just nothing better than wearing sharp, tailored suits, cycling through an assortment of Rolex watches, racing through NYC in a white Ferrari Testarossa and crashing your Countach in front of the country club.
If this video game existed, a lot of people would probably be kept out of jail and in front of the TV on their sofas.