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What Your Favorite Breakfast Says About Your Sex Life

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One eggs benedickt, please.

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  1. Please pick the sexiest breakfast item.
    1. ✓ Eggs (hard-boiled)
    2. ✓ Eggs (scrambled)
    3. ✓ Eggs (sunny side up)
    1. ✓ Eggs (poached)
    2. ✓ Fried Eggs (over easy)
    3. ✓ Fried Eggs (over hard)
    1. ✓ Oatmeal
    2. ✓ Bowl of Fruit
    3. ✓ Omelette
    1. ✓ Grapefruit Cup
    2. ✓ Bacon
    3. ✓ Buttermilk Biscuits
    1. ✓ Buttermilk Biscuits WITH GRAVY
    2. ✓ Sausage
    3. ✓ Cereal
    1. ✓ Bagels
    2. ✓ Crêpe
    3. ✓ Croissant
    1. ✓ Cold Pizza From Night Before
    2. ✓ Toast
    3. ✓ Toast With Jam
    1. ✓ Doughnut
    2. ✓ Granola Bar
    3. ✓ Hash
    1. ✓ Hashbrowns
    2. ✓ Home fries
    3. ✓ Muffin
    1. ✓ Pop Tart
    2. ✓ Scones
    3. ✓ Yogurt
    1. ✓ Waffles
    2. ✓ Pancakes
    3. ✓ Fuck You Can’t Decide You Want It All

What Your Favorite Breakfast Says About Your Sex Life

  1. You got: Ultimate Pleaser

    Ooooweeeeee, you are the ultimate pleaser. You’re selfless in the bedroom because seeing someone else ~pleased~ ultimately gives you satisfaction. You’re willing to get as freaky and compromising as you need to. You keep things hard and boiling.

  2. You got: A Sexy Scramble

    If you love your eggs scrambled (ooohyeah, your mind just went there ;-), your sex life is a mixed bag: Sometimes you like things sweet and sensual, and other times you’re really looking to get real freaky deaky. It depends on the weather, really.

  3. You got: Selfish Lover

    You can be somewhat of a selfish lover — but hey, what of it? You know exactly what you want and you’re unapologetic about about it. People need to learn how to keep YOUR sunny side up. AM I RIGHT, OR AM I RIGHT.

  4. You got: CLOSET FREAK

    You have a deceptive innocence about you but YOU’RE A CLOSET FREAK. LIKE, INTO SOME REAL FREAKY DEAKY STUFF. (and only a few lucky people know it ;-))

  5. You got: Delicate…and devilish

    Exactly like a delicately egg fried over easy, you have a soft angelic shell that is just waiting to be— um, ahem —penetrated. If that made you squirm, it’s because it’s the truth. And you know it.

  6. You got: Consistently HARD

    If your favorite breakfast food is an egg fried HARD, I think you already know where you sex life stands. It stands sturdy, consistent… and hard. There is rarely a time you’re not thinking about it and/or doing it. Your libido is out of control. You are a sex walrus.

  7. You got: Getting Giggity Down

    You’re all about the real business. You like to keep bedroom talk and foreplay at a minimum and get giggity down to it. You also love morning sex — it gives you that unmatched boost to start your day. It’s better than coffee. And oatmeal.

  8. You got: Sweet and Satisfying

    You like to keep things sweet and natural which means, sure, you’re all for experimenting and adventuring, but the most satisfying sexytime of all is some genuine, soul-connecting lovemaking.

  9. You got: Controlling Lover

    You are the controller in whatever sexual scenario you’re in: hook ups, couple sexing, threesomes, foursomes, ninesomes. Sure, you can be a little demanding and bossy, but, at the end of the day, NO ONE is complaining. ‘Cause you’re all like “omelette you finish…” Teehee.

  10. You got: Try Nipple Clamps

    You like toys. If you haven’t yet had sexy time with toys, you should. Because you’ll like it. (Try: nipple clamps)

  11. You got: HARD-y

    Like your most important mealtime, you like playtime just as HARD-y. You’re the most passionate lover, giving 169% to anything you do in the bedroom.

  12. You got: Loyal Lover

    You are a loyal lover. Even when sex gets a little stale, you will stick with your partner. Because you love them. And that’s sexier than sex. (But only for so long. I mean, you need your biscuits buttered too. 😉

  13. You got: XXX All The Time

    OoooOo! Because just gettin’ your biscuits buttered isn’t enough. Nope. You want it all. And all the time.

  14. You got: C====3


  15. You got: WHATEVER

    Your sex life is, like, whatever, y’know? It comes, it goes. It’s up, it’s down. When it’s good, it’s, like, oh word. And when it’s not, it’s like, that’s cool too.

  16. You got: Exclusive Lover

    You are a serial exclusive lover. You tend to toot-toot-beep-beep only one partner at a time. Partly because you’re loyal, and partly because you’re lazy (and it’s pretty convenient tbh.)But DAMN that chosen one is one lucky son of a bitch, amiright?

  17. You got: Seductive Lover

    You’re all about seduction. It’s half (if not more) of the fun. Screw sex! No, tempt it 😉

  18. You got: Romantic Lover

    You are a true romantic lover. Even when you are at your naughtiest, you are full of fantasy and fairy tale. You will go out of your way to make really sentimental and sexy gestures toward your (wo)man.

  19. You got: In The Works…

    Your sex life is—um—in the works.

  20. You got: Traditional

    Contrary to what Cosmo says, for you, traditional sex is still good sex. There’s nothing wrong with resorting to the same positions and locations, because as long as it remains good, you are doing something right.

  21. You got: Sweet Lover

    You’re a sweet lover. You have a kind and gentle heart but also a strong and active libido 😉 You’re the whole sexy package.

  22. You got: FREAK FOR SURE

    A doughnut for breakfast? Dude, you’re a freak. FOR SURE.

  23. You got: Meaningful Copulation

    You’re the type that’s willing to wait — what, maybe weeks, months, years — and pass on one-night stands to have good, meaningful copulation.

  24. You got: Open-Minded 😉

    Yo, you are truly open to a multiplicity of sexual experiences with people from all walks of life. You don’t judge. Because what’s good is inherently good, and you’re down.

  25. You got: Adventurous Lover

    You’re into adventure, new, fun, kinky, role play, cosplay. If you can make sex even more enjoyable, you’re doing it.

  26. You got: ENTHUSIASTIC Lover

    You’re an ENTHUSIASTIC! lover. You approach gettin’-down with the same fervor as the FIFA World Cup. You’re ready! You’re always ready! Because you’re about to scooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooore.

  27. You got: I-Deserve-It-All Lover

    You can be somewhat of a *jealous* lover, but only because you believe you deserve allllll of the attention and allllll of the lovin’. And you do. Lookatchu!

  28. You got: You Like Sex ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    You’re a ~’-*wild*-‘~ one. You like sex. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  29. You got: Classic Lover

    You’re a classic lover. You like lovemaking back when, without all the toys and accessories and charms and MTV. Keeping it classy and conventional doesn’t mean it’s not exciting.

  30. You got: Nature Lover

    Two words: nature and sex. Sex in nature. Sex with nature. Oh yeah, you already know.

  31. You got: Turned On For What

    You’re… howdoiputitgently… easily aroused. But hey, that’s not a bad thing! You’ve got a high libido and it’s not your fault. Everything excites you because everything is exciting. You love life. You’d like to have sex with life.

  32. You got: Everybody’s Lover

    You’re everybody’s lover! Like, you’re everybody’s friend. Except all your friends want to have sex with you.

  33. You got: Freak. Very Freaky.



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